Running at Pigs

Lynyrd Skynyrd said it best, “Gimme three steps Mister and you won’t see me no more.”  The song reminds me what my son Devin told me after my recent cancer battle; he thinks I’m constantly being chased by something that wants to kill me.  Kinda like “Final Destination Part 12.”  It’s been a long road, especially since I’m not a runner.  But if I have to run, then I’m going to run toward whatever’s chasing me not away from it.  For my own sake,  I want whatever’s chasing me to earn its keep.  I’d rather be in charge of my final destination then leave it up to someone else, especially when I have all the ammo.

I grew up on an apple orchard so it was logical that we would throw apples at cars speeding down the lake road on Friday nights.  Most cars wouldn’t stop and kept driving.  Sometimes we’d hit a High School football player’s car; they’d stop, threaten to kill us, and run after us.  After a few beatings it dawned on us that we had all the ammo, so the next time a car stopped we’d pelt them as soon as they stepped out of the car.   Afterwards there weren’t many football players wanting to wage war with 6th graders on our road.  It pays to be on the offensive even when the enemy seems a lot bigger.

Fast forward; my brothers, cousins, and I decided to go bird hunting down the lake road one Fall Saturday.  5 teenagers with shotguns loping down the road in broad daylight; today someone would call the SWAT team.  About 1/2 way towards our spot we were walking by Ed Vosburg’s house.  I had heard he was raising a pig in the back yard, but didn’t expect to see it standing in the driveway glaring at us.  Ed’s pig was as big as a sofa and angry, so when it took after us we went screaming down the road like nutjobs.  Right before the pig bit me my brother Mark yelled, “Stop” then whipped around and let off a shotgun blast over the pig’s head.  The pig screamed and hightailed back to Ed’s house.  Mark wheezed, “what are we running for?, we’ve got all the ammo.”

Whether its pigs, High School football players, or cancer you shouldn’t run away from anything threatening you.  My father, who was the justice of the peace, told me never to run away from trouble because it means you’re guilty.  I told him to tell that to Ed Vosburg’s pig.  I think he meant face your fears head on.  That has been my approach battling cancer for nearly 4 decades; yeah, at first it’s frightening until you realize from doctors, nurses, and loved ones that there are plenty of people ready to wage your battle with you.  Trust me, you aren’t alone.  And most important, there are tons of people out there who love throwing apples at pigs.  Oink.