Hospitals

Like the quote in the movie Airplane, “hospitals are big buildings with sick people in them”.  There aren’t many reasons to get admitted to a hospital today, if you do you’re probably in crummy shape.  Years ago before insurance companies blocked the doors,  you could get admitted for weeks just for R&R.  Pregnancies, knee implants, cataracts were all 7 day stays.  Whenever my mom got agitated with us she would threaten to check into Moses Ludington Hospital and send over a German nurse to watch us.  “The German Nurse” never showed up, but we guessed she’d be like Miss Trunchbull from Matilda.

I’ve worked in hospitals since I was 16 years old, so I’m comfortable on how they work.  Nevertheless, they can be scary with all the different people, lingo, and procedures going on – it feels like controlled chaos, which in a way it is.  In spite of the turmoil, doctors and staff get creative in managing the mess.   One of my first hospital jobs was storing bodies in the morgue.  The morgue only held 2 bodies, one busy summer night there was big demand for morgue space so we had to find another room with A/C.  The nurses on 11-7 told me to put the extra bodies in the Social Worker’s office since they had a A/C window unit.  Sometime during the night, however, the A/C turned off and heated the room up.   On Monday morning I could hear the yelling all the way up to the 3rd floor.  

You hear a lot of media stories about the decline in US healthcare; it’s nonsense news driven by the media.  As a constant patient, hospital employee, and executive for the past 40 years I can tell you easily that healthcare here is 10 x better than 10 years ago and 40 x better than forty years ago. Everything has improved dramatically in hospitals especially clinical care.  If you don’t believe me go visit hospitals in foreign countries.  When the “HOSPITAL” sign is blinking it’s a warning sign not a welcome mat.

Patient anxiety is a fickle mistress; hospitals saw that in 2020 when patients literally had heart attacks at home rather then risk catching COVID at the hospital.  60 years of patient education down the tubes.  It reminded me of my Dad avoiding his heart surgery in 2002.  He said he was afraid to die on the operating table.  I told him, “Well, when you’re out walking Cebaka in the orchard and have a heart attack remember he doesn’t know CPR.”  Even the brightest people naturally fear hospitals.  But fear not, if you do get admitted, drag your family and friends with you;  they’re the ones that will support you before, during, and after your stay.  They’ll help interpret things and calm your fears.  That is unless Nurse Trunchbull shows up in scrubs; then you’re on your own.  Slainte.