Doctors

When you start your recovery journey skip the “How to Survive Cancer” clips on YouTube as well as those on snake handling and drinking strychnine at the church revival. These treatments don’t work and time is not on your side.  Cancer is nothing to toy with so admit you have it and bring in the big guns; physicians.  No one, however, wants to go see an oncologist; hell, it’s hard enough for people to go to the dentist twice a year.  Physicians are intimidating – they’re smarter than the average bear and you won’t find them rubbing elbows at the pub with the local bar flies.  I’ve worked with doctors in healthcare over 40 years, so thankfully I’ve gotten used to them.   Initially, however, they scared the shit out me.  In grad school I had to introduce myself to a large group of doctors once at a Duke medical staff meeting.  I stood up, saw all these people in white lab coats glaring at me, and immediately forgot my own name.  Years passed, so I am no longer intimidated by doctors, but I am still in awe of their skills.  That aside, they sometimes have trouble making casual conversation with simpletons like you and I.  For instance, when I got Hodgkin’s Disease a doctor friend of mine said to me, “Pete,  if you are going to get cancer this is the one to get.”  WTF?  When Diane was in labor with our twins the anesthesiologist before giving her the epidural said, “You’re only going to feel a little prick.”  After he stuck her and left Diane yelled out, “the only little prick I know is the one who just left the room.”  OMG.  On the flip side, when you need straight info, I truly appreciate physician candor.  When I had Lymphoma in 2004 I was getting all kinds of advice from friends and family – go to Mayo, go to M.D. Anderson, start eating broccoli, have you thought about The Hemlock Society?, etc.   With all of these great recommendations flowing in I figured I had plenty of time to convenience shop.  Mark Moskowitz, M.D., however, set me straight on a Friday morning 2nd opinion visit.  I asked him how soon should I start treatment?  He said without blinking, “You’re loaded with tumors; you need to start chemo on Monday toot sweet or go get another doctor.”  I appreciated him cutting to the chase. Doctor’s are no different than any other professional; if you hire them, let them do their job; they’re the experts, not you.  Your treatment plan is not like the salad bar at Bonanza where you get to pick everything (“Let’s see, I’ll have a little bit of broad beam radiation, give me a half dose of cyclophosphamide, and a smidge of retuxan.”)  Although they are in charge they sometimes give you too much information.  I have heard over the years physicians making the mistake of estimating the number of months a patient has to live. That’s rotten, since they don’t have that perfect insight.  A patient’s hopes and fears all rest on what their doctor is going to tell them next.  If your told “you’ve only got 3 months to live”  then as a compliant patient you’ll probably meet that timeframe.   Remember, it’s your choice, not their’s. Surviving cancer is about having faith in yourself; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  This isn’t about friendship, its about your survival, so make sure you and your doctor are both are on the same page.  It would be nice if you could do this all on your own, but it doesn’t work that way.  You can’t Google your way out of cancer; you need a physician at your side helping you along the way, so pick a good one and follow their advice.