Relativity

I appreciate relativity especially in healthcare. Even though I’ve had plenty of unpleasant things happen, I can easily think of others who have had worse.  Trust me, nobody has hogged all the bad days up.  Although someone’s suffering doesn’t make me feel better; it does push me to get past it just like they did.  Most important, I have found my experience only helpful if I talk about recovery, not suffering.  So the question for the ages is “can my challenge help someone else in the same spot?”  Of course as long as you deliver the right message.  Unfortunately, people gravitate towards negative stories which drown out the good people need to hear more than ever.  So rather than weeping and gnashing your teeth with tales of woe, share how you found your way out.   Your experience is relative, but only the part where you found light at the end of the tunnel.

One summer in college I ran the Moses Ludington Hospital laundry.  Hospital laundries are like the one in your house except with bigger machines, gallons of bleach, and literally tons of linen.  With that industrial experience in my pocket I wash the laundry today the exact same way:  toss it all in at once, crank up the heat, and spin the hell out of it.  You’re cleaning clothes for God’s sake, not painting the Sistine Chapel.  Diane, however, has all kinds of special instructions “Don’t mix my clothes with the towels, put the sweaters on tumble dry, add fabric softener, hang all the shirts but not with wire hangers”, etc.  On any day it’s easier to wash 500 pounds of bloody hospital linen than one woman’s clothing, but my big machine experience is meaningless compared to a modern washer connected to WIFI.  “You mean to say you didn’t find my lipstick in my shorts before you started the wash?”  “Didn’t you work in a laundry?”

All experiences versus yours will be different, but relatable.  A friend of mine was worried about a skin cancer on his ear, so  I didn’t think I’d make him feel better blabbing about all of my skin cancer scars. After hearing my tales he’d freak out and hide in the cellar like a mushroom for his remaining days.  Instead, I listened for a long time and complimented him on taking care of it sooner rather than later.  In that light I regularly have family and friends ask me to talk with love ones starting a cancer struggle.  Even though I’m in the Cancer Hall of Fame, I mostly listen to their stories which is what people need early on in tough situations.   Regardless of where they are on their journey, however,  I always point them to the same direction out of the dark woods:  Faith, Family and Medicine.  Without a doubt each person’s struggle is their own, but the GPS for recovery is the same for all of us.  Slainte.