I was born sarcastic.  My parents couldn’t agree on my name, the nurse suggested the name Peter and they said OK just to get me out of the hospital.  My father had enough of me muttering about the quality of the food and how fast the call bell was being answered.  As the hospital attorney he warned me my complaints were bordering on slander.  I told him if the hospital had an ambulance he would be the first to chase it.  The nursing notes recorded “the newborn even rolled his eyes; a medical first.”  Sarcasm in small doses is actually a good stress release when you’re dealing with a tough issue; but use it sparingly otherwise people will give you the old heave-ho.

Normally sarcasm gets delivered in a verbal comments, but facial expressions do the trick too.  Years ago when I was the CEO at St. Petersburg General Hospital we had a late night medical staff meeting where the doctors were droning on about important quality of care topics like the employees parking in the doctors’ reserved spaces.  Four hours of this was about all I could take.  The Director of Nursing, Connie Boudreaux, was sitting across from me next to Dr. Pamintuan who was lecturing us about his Mercede’s hood insignia getting stolen in broad daylight from the doctor’s lot.  For a brief second Connie looked at me when sipping her coffee, so I used the moment to cross my eyes.  Yes, it was unprofessional.  Yes, I should’ve been more serious about the doctors’ concerns; but to see her blow coffee through her nose was priceless, especially since the meeting came to a crashing halt.

I’m currently getting both chemo and immuno therapy every three weeks.  Trust me, I’d rather be doing something else on those days like teaching our Maine Coon cat Spanish, but I’ll tolerate it for the good of the order.  It’s complicated since even though you’d rather not get injected with toxic chemicals the nurses test your blood to see if you can tolerate getting even more.  If your blood count is too low, however, you get sent home like you did something wrong.  It’s weird.  A few treatments ago I passed the blood test, walked back to the IV room, and sat down in my favorite chair.  One of the nurses said, “Are you having chemo today?” I said, “No, I came back here to have my nails done.”  I got sent home, again.  Slainte.

22 Comments

  1. Absolutely love this Peter and wish you well from the bottom of my heart. We placed my mother in law in the Nursing Home today right next to the building (replica) where the nurse named you Peter😂😅It was difficult but we think it will be better for her. That meeting must have been a prizewinner. Since you are from Ticonderoga, you will remember the Roxi Motel and Restaurant. I spent alot of time there as a child as Renee (owners’ daughter) was my best friend. One night Renee, hrr siblings, her Mom and I were eating in the fining room of the restsurant. Something was said, Renee looked across the table and yes, crossed her eyes snd I sprayed milk right into her mother’s face. None if us ever forgot it, including her Mom. Your story immediately reminded me of that wonderful, “wish I could go back” day. Great place to grow up.

  2. I laughed out loud 2 times on by back patio all alone with my golden retriever, Wally wondering what the hell was wrong with me! lol love it pete!

  3. Pete, I can picture you crossing your eyes in that meeting. Lol I love your sarcasm, it may have taken me a few years to warm to it though. 😂 My new favorite! We Love you Mr Pete! Wait, Seriously, the nurse named you?

  4. Good one Mr. Pete and it appears we are similar in this regard. At a promotion ceremony at school… each year there are three, talented students who get chosen to speak. Now mind you this is absolutely the only thing I’m interested about the entire time… because for me teaching is about the kids and the relationships that I’ve formed with them. That’s it. The rest of it is crap. Anyhow…a very intelligent student…who I really love…decided to list each teacher…and publicly say what she remembered learning in each of their classrooms. She mentioned things like concepts she struggled with in math… sentence structure…etc. everything related to content. But when she mentioned me she said… “And Ms. Cahill taught me what sarcasm is.” Though it was absolutely true…I slumped down in my seat onstage. 👀 Often times the kids at the end of the school year mention how many things I have said and how they weren’t sure if I was serious or not. But I would dare anyone to try to teach this age…without being sarcastic. Good luck people. It is a coping mechanism for me…and I doubt it will change. I love your posts…because they are real and to me that’s why they resonate with so many people! Slainte Mr. Pete! ☘️💕🪳

  5. If you can teach KJ and Jameson Spanish, I’m hiring you to come teach my crew! 😹 always love your words that brighten my day.

  6. I’ll make sure Anthony reads this so he understands your handshake – lol 😂
    Luv the ‘lawyer’ sarcasm. 🍀

  7. Too funny , I can only imagine the scene in that office, when you crossed your eyes 👀, maybe unprofessional??? Maybe not…. I think it’s hysterical!!! Thanks so much for sharing these stories . You are a funny man! Stay well!!

  8. Pete, (insert sarcasm) I’ve never known YOU to be sarcastic…🤣😂🤣😂
    If you weren’t occasionally sarcastic, I’d think something was wrong! I’ve had similar reactions to your sarcasm, and I love it!

  9. You never fail to make me smile Pete. Would have been funny if the nurse did paint your nails lol xxx

Thanks for reading and letting me know your thoughts!