When Diane and I got married the only thing of value we owned was student loan debt.  Regardless, we were happy to be together without a lot of money.  To entertain ourselves we put together a list of things we would like to do or have someday.  It was a long list of small items today, but they were big back then.  Diane listed cowboy boots.  She now owns more cowboy boots than Arizona and Texas combined.  I wanted a shotgun.  Today I have more guns than Arizona and Texas combined.  We both wanted to go to a Notre Dame football game and  travel to Ireland.  We already had a cat and a ferret, so I thought it would be great to add a skunk and ocelot to the mix.  Can you imagine the number of lost security deposits with that zoo?  Funny enough, there weren’t any big ticket items like boats, cars, etc;  but there were plenty of trips and experiences we planned to build memories on.

Shortly after completing The List my future oncologist, Geetha Kamath, told me I had cancer.  I left work early so I could tell Diane in person;  texting that info wouldn’t have gone over well.  Of course, neither of us expected this turn; we both just graduated, started careers, and everything was on an upswing.  At that point we hadn’t crossed one item off The List.   In our confusion we jumped to the conclusion my life was ending, so Diane said, “All I want now is to have a little boy that looks like you, The List doesn’t matter anymore.”  This was a tall order given radiation would clobber any real chances of ever having children.  Still, I didn’t want to take the chance of Diane getting pregnant  knowing she might be raising a child on her own.  Wisely we took a step back and focused on me recovering first.  Pretty tough decisions for two young twenty year olds, just sayin’.

A year passed, I went into remission, and crawled out of the dark woods.  The next year Devin was born on Christmas Day and the following January David and Dillon arrived.  I thought the radiation turbo charged the sperm count instead of smothering it.  Three boys in 12 months in my mind meant the next pregnancy would be triplets, so I had a vasectomy.  God’s sense of humor only goes so far.  Decades have passed and our lives exceeded the dreams we thought were going to pass us by.  As for The List most of the items got checked off except dicey things like sky diving, a motorcycle, and ballroom dancing (thank God).

With all of our travels The List has gone missing, so we can’t remember completely all the items.  As I’m wrestling with my current cancer, I think about The List and the basic items we put on it when we had nothing but each other.  Today if I were to start a new list, it’d be like the original, but limited to just spending time with family and friends.   The List taught us that we shouldn’t spend our lives accumulating things which are ultimately burdens with little value. As a suggestion, start your own list; as you put it together you’ll too discover the memories are more important than the stuff.  All that aside, I was still thinking an ocelot would be great for the grand kids to play with. (The CEO nixed it).  Where’s the sense of adventure these days?  Slainte.

 

24 Comments

  1. So happy you were able to have your boys and share a wonderful life. I remember Diane hosting the “Junior Miss” Program in Moriah shortly after the twins were born. Time flies for sure and we do learn to sort what is of real value. God bless and care for you through your current cancer journey.

  2. Our mother often said,”Less is best!” This could be anything from wearing make-up, fancy clothes,etc. I find that aging sure helps one cut down on Things, and think more of People. Thanks for your great, humorous insight and for sharing.

  3. This is a fabulous post, Pete. Too often we focus on obtaining all the unnecessary and eventually useless items we feel will bring us joy. When that doesn’t happen, it’s on to the next thing and so on. Life has a way of making you realize, it’s not all the things that bring the most happiness and fulfillment to our lives. One of my favorite songs has always been “Dust in the wind” by Kansas, definitely worth a listen! ❤️

  4. Pete, soooo true. Unfortunately, when you are young you don’t believe it because you have your whole life ahead of you. You should speak to graduating seniors.

  5. Fitting you should share this on World Gratitude Day. It’s always the little things, that are truly the big things.

    I’m keeping you in my prayers, cousin.
    ☘️

  6. Thank you for all of these memories full of insight and perspective Peter! Keep them coming! 👍💪Slaintè!

  7. Pete, I enjoy all your posts, and have a few favorites; this is definitely one of them. Anthony and I started out pretty much the same way; I came into the marriage with a box of stuffed animals and he brought his motorcycle and string bass. 💙🍀

Thanks for reading and letting me know your thoughts!