You’ve heard the comment “that’s a train wreck.” It’s a really an old comment since people don’t talk about trains much anymore. It’s been replaced with, “wow, that’s a cluster.” There’s vulgar sub-divisions of clusters, but I can’t repeat the word given I’m a God fearing Christian woman. Don’t confuse clusters with hot messes; hot messes are people who are whirl wind of thought, while wrecks are a combination of bad events colliding all at once. When you’re served with rotten news, like a bad health diagnosis, it’s easy to be a hot mess. It’s upsetting and life altering; but you can’t be a hot mess for ever, otherwise you become a wreck. When wrecks or messes come your way, focus on the basics and you’ll get back on track sooner rather than later.
My first car wreck happened when I was a high school freshman. A November snowstorm arrived before my Dad could get the snow tires on my Mom’s Gran Torino station wagon. Fighting the elements, she picked up Sheila, Nancy Reale, and I after school and we headed down Lake George Avenue to Pearl’s Department Store. Halfway there the Torino started sliding, my Mom slammed on the brakes, which drifted us straight toward the bakery’s front window. The only thing stopping us from becoming jelly donuts was the phone pole. We slammed into the pole head on complete with Sheila and Nancy bouncing off the front seat. It got real quiet, but Sheila and Nancy broke the ice with some snickering from the backseat. My Mom was a hot mess and too rattled to drive home; so she told me to drive. I didn’t even have a driver permit, but I jumped at the chance. Sheila bitched and complained the whole way back whining that she was older so she should have been driving instead of me. Snickering obviously takes the backseat when recovering from a wreck.
Receiving big ticket news like cancer isn’t anything to snicker about, but to recover you’ve got to stop, take a breath, and ask yourself some basic questions. I should know better after getting the anvil dropped on me six different times, but I still fell into the hot mess trap. I had just finished lymphoma treatment, then got tagged right away with esophagus cancer. I received a fire hose blast of advice, testing, opinions, feelings, and commentary all compounded with personal worry. I was a nut, bouncing off every new element. Exhausted, after one morning of quiet reflection it dawned on me I had to take a huge step back to avoid being a train wreck. So, I started asking myself about the big stuff:
- “Am I at peace with God?”
- “Have I lived a full life?”
- “Am I surrounded by a loving family?”
- “Do I have confidence in the people treating me?”
After answering those basic questions with a clear “yes” my scattered thoughts departed and horizons became clearer again. Sure, this isn’t fun, but the whirl wind of worry is well behind me. Now every day I live honestly with the cards dealt to me and watch from a safe distance people frantically bouncing off of life’s tiny little challenges. It’s unnecessary. Rather than veer off the tracks you should instead greet the sunrise everyday and appreciate that living a full life is about the basics and nothing more. Slainte.
Hey Pete when I saw the comment about the God fear and Christian woman I thought maybe Diane was writing the post
Happy birthday early we’ll all be 62 this year who would have ever thought especially when we were making comments look at those old bastards and now we’re them
I’m looking at a knee replacement in the next couple months minor compared to what you’ve been through
I answered all the questions you asked with a yes
Lived a full and crazy Life
Hopefully we can get together soon
Richard, Diane’s the editor, but not the writer. The posts would be a lot more vulgar if she wasn’t weighing in. I’ll be up in Ti the last week in April; I need some cool weather. Pete
I feel gratitude and accept in your 4 Noble Truths. Being in God’s Hands
Is the best place to be!
Being an older lassie, a saving grace for me is also to be aware and focus on “what I can do, NOT What I cannot do”. TA
Pete Lawson you are always so spot on! Your words are especially helpful for people that suffer from “overthinking “…The answers to those four questions are all that truly matter. Thank you for the reminder.
Again…Thanks..🍀
Margie, thanks for all that you do! Pete
Mr. Pete… this story seems a bit sketchy. I find it hard to believe that your poor mom…chose you to drive after you almost set the sandbox roof on fire. Unless I am confused about the sequence of events…which could be the case. Or maybe…she was just desperate at the time…and this…I understand. If I were her…I would have called Snatch to drive…and I am saying this just because I love her nickname. 😊 I promise to shut my mind up and focus on the four questions. Thank you for keeping us all in check…like only a cockroach can do. ❤️🪳🍀
Sincerely ~ Not a Topper
#thegoodcry
Elisa, she asked me to drive since I’m so resourceful: starting fires and throwing luggage down embankments. She wouldn’t have asked Snatch to drive since they were never in the same car together. Best, Pete
Your pictures of your loving family anchoring your stories are always perfect too!
Have a blessed week!
Stan, I appreciate you reading and commenting. Let’s catch up so I can hear about your next adventure. Pete
Pete. You are a tremendous inspiration for all of us. We all can very easily get wrapped up in dealing with the issues in the whirlwind of living our lives but your posts help us get back down to the basics.
Mark, I am getting photo pop ups from St. Patty Day parties years ago. You and Sandy are in a lot of them. Pete
I like how you use your blog to remind all of us to ask ourselves those four important questions. Great advice and thanks for the reminder!
Stacia, we make our lives a lot more complicated then we need to. That’s why God invented beer and wine to refocus us. Pete
That’s a great post!!! Such great advice as always!! Love the questions… certainly true! ☘️ Stay well!
Another great one Pete! Thank you!
Scott, thanks for always reading; keep smiling – that’s half the battle. Pete
Seems to me you have your priorities in order.🍀
Grace, I am a work in progress; but those are good starting points. Pete
THANK YOU FOR THE 4 MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS WE SHOULD ALL ASK OURSELVES EVERY DAY. GREAT ADVICE FOR ALL.
Paul, thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing. Those 4 things work best for me and keep me going everyday. Pete
Really enjoyed this week and the insights are invaluable. Thanks
David, nice to hear from you! I hope you and Becky are doing great. Pete
Mr Lawson you are one truly amazing, inspirational, wise, educated cockroach that I am proud to call my friend. Thank you.
Shelly, thanks for reading and commenting; oh, and reducing the Ultra inventory so fast I can’t keep up with it. Pete
Thanks for the basic questions that each of us should answer daily. Your thoughts are a source of strength.
Tim, we need those gentle reminders on the important big things. As important as they are they seem to get diluted by the minutia