We expect our lives to be straight lines; point A to B without veering off course. Expectations and reality are two different things. In reality our lives are messy and complicated; they’re full of road blocks and re-routed traffic. We get upset when our plans go off course. How dare they? On top of the interruption we have difficulty accepting the situation as our own; instead it’s someone else’s fault; certainly not ours. As we age and experience life, however, we begin to realize that detours are natural events that challenge us to resolve problems we didn’t anticipate. Whatever age you are today getting re-routed forces you to change direction and perspective. That experience builds confidence that is sorely needed in our very anxious world. I’m not sure how to resolve all of those fears, but for me numerous detours from well laid plans allowed me to adjust life for the better.
Traveling with three infants and little money is daunting. I see parents struggling with both in crowded airports and feel their pain. Diane and I ended up cancelling a lot of holiday travel early on simply because it was too expensive to get on a plane. At the peak of the 1st Gulf War in 1992; however, we took action against high air travel costs and purchased a tricked out Dodge conversion van complete with bucket seats, TV, VCR, etc. We worked out the financial details and determined that the car loan, meals, hotels, gas, and other expenses were far less costly than flying to New York twice a year. To limber up for long travel we took a 3 hour maiden voyage to West Palm Beach. In less than 45 minutes all three kids were car sick and the vomiting took Diane over the edge. Every solution works on paper, but experiencing reality forces you to learn and adjust.
Right after Diane and I were married I received my first cancer diagnosis. Neither of us considered a setback like this; we were still trying to figure out how to be married. Luckily I was in the hospital business so I had plenty of medical colleagues to point us towards the straight and narrow. Their advice steered us away from self pity and blame and pushed us back on the road to recovery. We learned to tackle new problems that followed including a miscarriage, 3 infants in a year, numerous career steps and missteps as well as serious health set backs years later. People have asked us time and again; “how did you do all of that and stay sane.” As I reflect a little, Diane and I started our lives a long way from home in a strange new city learning new paths and making a lot of mistakes. Independently. We repeated that course dozens of times after finding ourselves off the beaten path adapting to new situations rather than fearing them. Anxiety is everywhere driven by dire warnings to stay on the Federal Interstate highway system and avoid detouring onto State, County, and local roads. “It’s dangerous out there.” On the contrary, that’s where the best part of your life awaits you. Slainte.
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.” – Robert Frost
Many detours for sure! I look forward to your weekly blog.
Jen, you have had your share of exits from the highway for sure. I’m glad you have worked hard to stay in the mix. Merry Christmas to you and the peeps. Pete
On my journey When things were going just about perfect, Then I ran into a large obstacle, But never once did I ask why me, .Many times I’m grateful that it was me, for so many couldn’t hVed made it. And now my bump has smoothed out to pave the highway to success for many others.
Merry Christmas Diana Pete, 🌲
As we celebrate everyday
A truer word has never been said
On my journey When things were going just about perfect I ran into a large obstacle But never once did I ask why me many times I’m grateful that it was me for so many people couldn’t do it And now my bump has smoothed out to pave the highway to success for many others. Merry Christmas Diana Pete, 🌲
As we celebrate everyday
Thanks for sharing your world with us…What a ride..👍😎🎄✨💗
Some detours are good but others take time and are slower Thatslife. You have to look at the good things!!
Nancy, hopefully you’ll get a lot of visitors at your house this year taking detours. Have a Merry Christmas! Pete
Detours can be scary, but they do lead to new roads🚙 🍀
Keep up the great blogs you and Diane are such a inspiration Bev
Great post and so accurate as all our life journeys have many detours.
A lovely picture of you both! And another well writen message to all of us! You are an inspiration for the rest of us.
Merry Christmas and a Happy Healthy New Year to you, your beautiful wife and the family!
Carol, thanks for reading and reflecting. Have a Merry Christmas and stay warm! Pete
Mr. Pete…I loved the Peanuts comic strip. One time I bought a book that was titled “My Anxieties have Anxieties.” and it was a collection of silly comics where I could relate to poor, old, Charlie Brown. At the time I just liked Peanuts…but the older I got I realized that being anxious was part of me and it is something that I still fight to keep in check.
I’ll trust your detour advice… and try to embrace it now instead of feeling nervous. 👀
For the record my sister was always car sick as well and I was (sadly) stuck in the back seat with her while traveling to Florida as a kid. She never threw up on me thankfully…but she was so drugged up on Dramamine…she was a complete bore to travel with! All I wanted was someone to laugh with to get rid of all of that damn anxiety…what a bust!
Slainte!
🍀💕🪳
Elisa, Dramamine is so passé; shift to Jameson and all your anxieties take a detour. At least until 6:30 am arrives completely with a splitting headache. Merry Christmas! Pete
Pete, this Detours post is great. Reflecting back, you do sometimes wonder how did we do it? But here we are, all the stronger for it. Thanks for sharing I look forward to reading your posts. Merry Christmas to you all.
Jane, part of our strength is actually taking the detour and realizing it wasn’t so bad after all. Merry Christmas to you and the peeps. Pete
Detours! The scenic route is often the one less traveled, but it’s usually the most fun! The sanity, with kids and life, that’s debatable and a different story! Stay well!